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Why aren't our relationships working?

What are relationships about?

First of all, a willingness to get to know someone!

That is how we did it, once upon a time, we didn't choose people from a catalogue, like underwear, which is sadly what dating has become.

Do we feel safer with this approach?

We saw them, we observed them, we felt an attraction and as we know now we actually were attracted to their scent, what they were saying, all of our senses were aroused, we liked that person.

We also know that the attraction is energetic as well and studies have shown us that we are also attracted to behavioural patterns that we are familiar with from our family background and that we still need to work through.

Many relationships were built on that foundation and lasted for years, until death do we part! but many also collapsed before the ultimate date because of the inability to keep growing, they were unable to mature and go beyond eventual difficulties.

I can remember someone saying to me that I had Cinderella syndrome, I didn't really understand at the time and didn't ask her what she meant but I now know that she was making assumptions about me and sadly didn't know me at all.

My marriage collapsed not because that's what I wanted but because there was an inability to communicate and grow beyond where we were and there was no joy or intimacy left and I felt that I had been the only one making an effort, I had lost trust for many reasons and I was unable to regain that trust.

Relationships are a 100% -100% effort each person needs to work at it, we are individuals and need to fulfil our independent visions of life and our friends and family can support that but when we choose to be with someone in a relationship and especially have a family, both parts need to be fully committed. It's not about what men want what women want, it's about maturity, we are all people who want to be seen for who we are on an intimate level, this means authenticity.

For me and many others these days and I'm happy to say many young people, personal growth has become an important part of our whole well being. I started with a very spiritual path and practised an Ayurvedic lifestyle for the last 25 years which was also part of my career, in the last 5 years I have added CBT therapy, NLP and Life coaching to have a 360 approach to total well being.

If you would like to take personal growth to the next level you can join my community, in there you will find bite size workbooks to do at your own pace, aimed at all of the most important aspects of growth, confidence building, assertive communication, understanding your mind and how it effects you moods, relationship building, and much more...become a member and you will have a constant mentoring chat with me, working hours, and discount on 1 to 1 coaching.

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