Do you have the courage to be disliked?

This is an interesting question, I do now, I realise now that we can't be liked by everyone because it all depends on where people are in their journey, what they are driven by and how authentic they are, how intentional they are in wanting to connect in some way with most people and there will always be people that we don't want to connect with depending on our level of consciousness, not out of snobbery but just by respecting our boundaries and our peace.

There is an interesting book by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga "The courage to be disliked" on the theory of Alfred Adler's positive psychology of individuals having more control over their destiny, rather than living in their past.

He uses the idea of a "separation of tasks" basically what is in our control and what is not! a helpful reflection for the people pleases to understand what is someone else's responsibility and overcome the urge to do things for them simply to please.

Having boundaries helps us to gain the precious time we need for ourselves, rest, pleasure, connection, reflection.

We can say no to those who aren't taking self responsibility!

Their message is the following:

• Happiness comes from connection, learn to connect authentically and empathically be of service not a slave.

• Overcome inferiority by self acceptance and avoid comparison, recognise your worth without seeking validation, see where you are and where you would like to be and make it achievable.

• Letting go of recognition and seeking approval, we don't need to live up to others expectations of us, we accept ourselves where we are knowing we can change.

• Having Purpose in our lives in our work, relationships and our community, doing what we love in balance.

• Trusting ourselves by being authentic and being grounded in who we are and what we bring to the world and accepting others and giving positive input without expectation.

• Self awareness, mindset shifts and emotional regulation, seeing problems as challenges and opportunity for growth and resilience.

• Embrace being authentic which can mean that you're not everyone's cup of tea. Their expectation of you is their own, it is not how you are meant to be. When we are not being true to our values our life becomes uncomfortable so respecting our values can be uncomfortable to others and it's their responsibility to understand themselves.

• Are we using Trauma as an excuse to remain in a victim mindset ? It is not what happened to us but the belief that we created around it, there are ways of releasing physical trauma and the beliefs we created around them, remain active, create an ideal self that is achievable.

• Know that you are enough!